Some time last week, I made a bit of a startling discovery: there are only 2 pages left in Lily’s baby book. The first year of her life I filled it out monthly, and once she hit her first birthday, there was only space to fill it out on each birthday until her fifth. It’s been a year since I really cracked it open, except to slide a few mementos in between the pages here and there. So the realization of 2 more pages kinda hit me hard.
Almost everything about motherhood is bittersweet. The days fly by mercilessly, and then there you have it, you’re filling out the final pages with a heavy pen. But when I’m feeling blue about little things like that, I remind myself that some people never get to fill out a baby book, and others don’t get to finish the ones they started. What an honor and a blessing I have had.
I remember the very first time I opened her sweet little pink book. There’s a page for baby shower info and questions about how you found out and celebrated your pregnancy, so I was writing in that book before she was even here, and all I could think was, how will I ever find the words to fill all of this in? I couldn’t fathom the day I’d write the final line in that book.
Then she showed up, and, she was all of the words, and I found that a baby book would never, ever be enough. I felt like I had to write down all the love on my heart for her. And I have. I’ve filled the pages of her baby book and I’ve written 1300 entries for her on this blog. One day, she’ll know everything I’ve wanted her to know.
2 more pages- what a beautiful journey.